Soundtrack to the Stars - December Mix

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Air - Kelly Watch the Stars

You're in no mood for details, Aries, but the question remains: what do you plan on doing with that army of skeletons? Not taking the bus, I presume. Roller skates? However you do it, this is for getting there.


Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Radiohead - Pyramid Song

Taurus, you're broke like dry spaghetti. You've got snakes for hair. You've got hair for brains. That's why you're so scary and crazy. But you're not scared and you've got nothing to do. This is what animals sound like.


Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon

You left the oven on, Gemini. You burned the damn kitchen down, you donkey. You're smoking, you're on fire, you're crispy, you're delicious. I want more. This is for okay not okay.


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Oasis - Wonderwall

Kiss me, Cancer. Actually, never mind. It's pretty late. I should probably get to bed. I don't know though, maybe we shouldn't sleep anymore. We'd have so much more time. Anyway, I'm really glad we're friends.


Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Brazilian Girls - Good Time

Oh my god, Leo. You look good. Damn. You're like a sexy time machine. You put the fuss in coconuts, you turn bicycles into tricycles. Somebody get me a straw, I'm thirsty.


Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
The Sonics - Psycho a Go Go

You can do better than that, Virgo. You've got options, you're the librarian of your dreams. But this isn't driver's ed, you've got to flap your wings. (And other things.) Your mantra is: up top!


Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Gladys Knight and the Pips - Midnight Train to Georgia

Saddle up, Libra, they're taking out the cacti and the volcanoes. You just brought your bare ass to a cooking show and now you've got to go. This is for when you've spent your last silver dollar.


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Greg Street ft. Nappy Roots - Good Day

Holy shit Scorpio, you finally ditched the metal exoskeleton! Here you are, raking the leaves in your moist, translucent skin. I'm sorry, I called the cops. I guess you'll be going away for a while. This is for when you come back.


Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
The Strokes - Someday

Don't move a muscle, Sagittarius, the man in the back seat wants to tell you a secret. He says, "You talk too much." Okay, no, that was me. He says, "It's a long way down." This for when you're not there yet.


Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Mississippi John Hurt - You got to walk that lonesome valley

You keep trying to sit on strangers' laps, Capricorn. Your only friend is the neighbor's cat. The lights turn on when you arrive. You're drunk and this isn't even a bus stop. This is for when it's time to move on.


Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Sleeping States - Rivers

Cry me a river, Aquarius. Cry me a river of caramel. Make that Crystal Lite, I've got a weight problem. It's you. You're so heavy. You know what's nice? Dolphins. This is for when you're floating away.


Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Devendra Banhart - Foolin'

I have news Pisces: you've got a twin, and you're the one with the wild eyes and the rubber boots. Now you're rubbing your face off. Anyway, let it go, drink your milk. This is for when you're rolling up a broken window.